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MICHAEL SCOTT
In the early part of Michael Scott’s life he was in the habit
of
emigrating annually to the Scottish metropolis, for the purpose of
being employed in his capacity of mason. One time as he and
two
companions were journeying to the place of their destination for a
similar object, they had occasion to pass over a high hill, the name of
which is not mentioned, but which is supposed to have been one of the
Grampians, and being fatigued with climbing, they sat down to rest
themselves. They had no sooner done so than they were warned
to
take to their heels by the hissing of a large serpent, which they
observed revolving itself towards them with great velocity.
Terrified at the sight, Michael’s two companions fled, while
he,
on the contrary, resolved to encounter the reptile. The
appalling
monster approached Michael Scott with distended mouth and forked
tongue; and, throwing itself into a coil at his feet, was raising its
head to inflict a mortal sting, when Michael, with one stroke of his
stick, severed its body into three pieces. Having rejoined p.
56his affrighted comrades, they resumed their journey; and, on arriving
at the next public-house, it being late, and the travellers being
weary, they took up their quarters at it for the night. In
the
course of the night’s conversation, reference was naturally
made
to Michael’s recent exploit with the serpent, when the
landlady
of the house, who was remarkable for her “arts,”
happened
to be present. Her curiosity appeared much excited by the
conversation; and, after making some inquiries regarding the colour of
the serpent, which she was told was white, she offered any of them that
would procure her the middle piece such a tempting reward, as induced
one of the party instantly to go for it. The distance was not
very great; and on reaching the spot, he found the middle and tail
piece in the place where Michael left them, but the head piece was gone.
The landlady on receiving the piece, which still vibrated with life,
seemed highly gratified at her acquisition; and, over and above the
promised reward, regaled her lodgers very plentifully with the choicest
dainties in her house. Fired with curiosity to know the
purpose
for which the serpent was intended, the wily Michael Scott was
immediately seized with a severe fit of indisposition, which caused him
to prefer the request that he might be allowed to sleep beside the
fire, the warmth of which, he affirmed, was in the highest degree
beneficial to him.
p. 57Never suspecting Michael Scott’s hypocrisy, and
naturally
supposing that a person so severely indisposed would feel very little
curiosity about the contents of any cooking utensils which might lie
around the fire, the landlady allowed his request. As soon as
the
other inmates of the house were retired to bed, the landlady resorted
to her darling occupation; and, in his feigned state of indisposition,
Michael had a favourable opportunity of watching most scrupulously all
her actions through the keyhole of a door leading to the next apartment
where she was. He could see the rites and ceremonies with
which
the serpent was put into the oven, along with many mysterious
ingredients. After which the unsuspicious landlady placed the
dish by the fireside, where lay the distressed traveller, to stove till
the morning.
Once or twice in the course of the night the “wife of the
change-house,” under the pretence of inquiring for her sick
lodger, and administering to him some renovating cordials, the
beneficial effects of which he gratefully acknowledged, took occasion
to dip her finger in her saucepan, upon which the cock, perched on his
roost, crowed aloud. All Michael’s sickness could
not
prevent him considering very inquisitively the landlady’s
cantrips, and particularly the influence of the sauce upon the crowing
of the cock. Nor could he dissipate some inward desires he
felt
to follow her example. At p. 58the same time, he suspected
that
Satan had a hand in the pie, yet he thought he would like very much to
be at the bottom of the concern; and thus his reason and his curiosity
clashed against each other for the space of several hours. At
length passion, as is too often the case, became the
conqueror.
Michael, too, dipped his finger in the sauce, and applied it to the tip
of his tongue, and immediately the cock perched on the spardan
announced the circumstance in a mournful clarion. Instantly
his
mind received a new light to which he was formerly a stranger, and the
astonished dupe of a landlady now found it her interest to admit her
sagacious lodger into a knowledge of the remainder of her secrets.
Endowed with the knowledge of “good and evil,” and
all the
“second sights” that can be acquired, Michael left
his
lodgings in the morning, with the philosopher’s stone in his
pocket. By daily perfecting his supernatural attainments, by
new
series of discoveries, he became more than a match for Satan
himself. Having seduced some thousands of Satan’s
best
workmen into his employment, he trained them up so successfully to the
architective business, and inspired them with such industrious habits,
that he was more than sufficient for all the architectural work of the
empire. To establish this assertion, we need only refer to
some
remains of his workmanship still existing north of the Grampians, some
of them, stupendous bridges built by him in one short night, p. 59with
no other visible agents than two or three workmen.
On one occasion work was getting scarce, as might have been naturally
expected, and his workmen, as they were wont, flocked to his doors,
perpetually exclaiming, “Work! work!
work!”
Continually annoyed by their incessant entreaties, he called out to
them in derision to go and make a dry road from Fortrose to Arderseir,
over the Moray Firth. Immediately their cry ceased, and as
Scott
supposed it wholly impossible for them to execute his order, he retired
to rest, laughing most heartily at the chimerical sort of employment he
had given to his industrious workmen. Early in the morning,
however, he got up and took a walk at the break of day down to the
shore to divert himself at the fruitless labours of his zealous
workmen. But on reaching the spot, what was his astonishment
to
find the formidable piece of work allotted to them only a few hours
before already nearly finished. Seeing the great damage the
commercial class of the community would sustain from the operation, he
ordered the workmen to demolish the most part of their work; leaving,
however, the point of Fortrose to show the traveller to this day the
wonderful exploit of Michael Scott’s fairies.
On being thus again thrown out of employment, their former clamour was
resumed, nor could Michael Scott, with all his sagacity, devise a plan
to keep p. 60them in innocent employment. He at length
discovered
one. “Go,” says he, “and
manufacture me ropes
that will carry me to the back of the moon, of these
materials—miller’s-sudds and
sea-sand.” Michael
Scott here obtained rest from his active operators; for, when other
work failed them, he always despatched them to their rope
manufactory. But though these agents could never make proper
ropes of those materials, their efforts to that effect are far from
being contemptible, for some of their ropes are seen by the sea-side to
this day.
We shall close our notice of Michael Scott by reciting one anecdote of
him in the latter part of his life.
In consequence of a violent quarrel which Michael Scott once had with a
person whom he conceived to have caused him some injury, he resolved,
as the highest punishment he could inflict upon him, to send his
adversary to that evil place designed only for Satan and his black
companions. He accordingly, by means of his supernatural
machinations, sent the poor unfortunate man thither; and had he been
sent by any other means than those of Michael Scott, he would no doubt
have met with a warm reception. Out of pure spite to Michael,
however, when Satan learned who was his billet-master, he would no more
receive him than he would receive the Wife of Beth; and instead of
treating the unfortunate man with the harshness characteristic p. 61of
him, he showed him considerable civilities. Introducing him
to
his “Ben Taigh,” he directed her to show the
stranger any
curiosities he might wish to see, hinting very significantly that he
had provided some accommodation for their mutual friend, Michael Scott,
the sight of which might afford him some gratification. The
polite housekeeper accordingly conducted the stranger through the
principal apartments in the house, where he saw fearful
sights.
But the bed of Michael Scott!—his greatest enemy could not
but
feel satiated with revenge at the sight of it. It was a place
too
horrid to be described, filled promiscuously with all the awful brutes
imaginable. Toads and lions, lizards and leeches, and,
amongst
the rest, not the least conspicuous, a large serpent gaping for Michael
Scott, with its mouth wide open. This last sight having
satisfied
the stranger’s curiosity, he was led to the outer gate, and
came
away. He reached his friends, and, among other pieces of news
touching his travels, he was not backward in relating the entertainment
that awaited his friend Michael Scott, as soon as he would
“stretch his foot” for the other world.
But Michael
did not at all appear disconcerted at his friend’s
intelligence. He affirmed that he would disappoint all his
enemies in their expectations—in proof of which he gave the
following signs: “When I am just dead,” says he,
“open my breast and extract my heart. Carry it to
some
place where p. 62the public may see the result. You will then
transfix it upon a long pole, and if Satan will have my soul, he will
come in the likeness of a black raven and carry it off; and if my soul
will be saved it will be carried off by a white dove.”
His friends faithfully obeyed his instructions. Having
exhibited
his heart in the manner directed, a large black raven was observed to
come from the east with great fleetness, while a white dove came from
the west with equal velocity. The raven made a furious dash
at
the heart, missing which, it was unable to curb its force, till it was
considerably past it; and the dove, reaching the spot at the same time,
carried off the heart amidst the rejoicing and ejaculations of the
spectators.
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